I created this blog in August 2014. I was always that girl friend with tips on how to get a better skin, DIY hair mask and review on the latest makeup products. Beauty talk was not only something natural, I truly enjoyed it. So here I was, another beauty blog in the blogosphere, however hoping I could add my touch and provide the community with something different.
My main focus was a scientific approach of beauty, meaning that anything that I would write would be backed up by extensive research. Beside being a beauty lover, I am also a huge nerd and science lover. I never liked the bloggers that would say something is amazing just because “it’s amazing”. Prove it to me! I am very curious by nature so I had to provide answers to myself and anyone out there that was interested.
I tried my best to keep up. At the time I had a full time job, was enrolled in Master/PhD program, working out… Like everyone, I had my ups and downs. However, I soon found myself writing less, having absolutely no strength. I lost my job, quit university and was going through a terrible breakup. It felt like I had lost everything. But it was also a fresh start to focus on me. It was January 2016 and I decided to have only one resolution: focus on myself. So instead of rushing to find another job, I worked on myself for myself. Meaning? I took the time to understand what I really wanted in life, who I was and who I was not.
2017 followed with one resolution too: be selfish. Not because I wanted to be a bitch but because I discovered that for too long I was putting everyone else before me and this had to stop. I wanted to challenge myself and see how hard/easy it would be. Believe it or not, it was hard! When you’ve been trained for years to be second, putting yourself first and doing what you want to do, no matter what everyone else want or think is extremely difficult. Guilt was always waiting for me around the corner.
I later started filming my first YouTube videos, hoping to not only test the waters but also to challenge myself some more. Most people think I am a perfect extrovert. Truth is, I am not only introvert, I can also be very shy. If it wasn’t for the years of ballet and the activism that I did as a kid, it would probably be worse. But again, life got in the way. My new job was hectic, my relationship was falling apart, my finances took a hit, family was in trouble as usual… and suddenly my stress level went beyond what I could handle.
I am not trying to find pity or excuse. I am just sharing my story for it might help someone else. The lesson I learnt from all this is that nothing, absolutely nothing and no one is worth our health, mental health and wellbeing. I lost faith in myself and interest in the things I loved.
2018 came, and again, I decided to take one and only resolution : be gentle and patient with myself. When you are used to be overachiever, you want to success at everything and multitask and perform better than everyone. I learnt my lesson and this year I want to take the time. I will set realistic goal and while I will resume writing and publishing video, I will accept the fact that I can’t be like those other bloggers who are able to. I work full time. I study in the evening. I manage two houses. I workout. I know now that I have accomplished enough and I will accomplish some more. But I won’t stress myself about it because life is too short to be anything but fun and happy :)